In this issues Irish Chess
Journal we have found a pretender to the throne for the real "Punmaster" of
Irish Chess. Barry is not resting on his laurels and is, as we speak, devising ever more
intricate and elaborate not to mention acerbic, puns
Warning: These may be some
of the worst puns ever spoken .
- Firstly I must begin with the classic:
"No Pun, No Fun" Cringe factor 4/10.
- Talking during a post-mortem:
"You have to CHECK your CHECKS" Cringe factor 3/10
- Talking about puns in general
"You've got to keep the punters happy" Cringe factor 1/10
- Talking about a game:"Dodgy opuning
preparation" Cringe factor 6/10.
- Talking about yet another game: (Hey
does this guy ever stop?)
"The CHECK is in the post" Cringe factor 7/10.
- Talking about puns"Once you've seen pun
you've seen them all"Cringe factor 3.5/10
- About not being able to come up with anymore
puns:
"I was caught with my puns down" Cringe factor 2/10.
- When asked a question about the Bodley
League:
"I'm Bodley placed to answer that" Cringe factor 9/10
- On their way to play a league game versus
Lucan:
- "We Might fLucan
8-0" Cringe factor 54/7.
- When a knight fork is on the board:
"It's a Kniiiiiightmare" Cringe factor 10/10.
We plead you to stop
Barry stop STOP PLEASE!
Many
more cringe inducing puns to come but as yet I can't remember any more.But rest assured
Barry will continue to churn out these "Gems".
P.S.: There is no truth in the report that Barry has gone into hiding after an unruly mob
marched on his house. However an anti-pun presence has been detected down at the club,
this irate group has not as yet forced Barry to cease his unruly pun making sessions
during blitz games.
For more information watch this space!
Finally revealed by The Barry Press Office Barry and Salman Rushdie have signed a deal to
jointly tell their stories of persecution, death threats and crazy assassins.
